masturbating with your pet in the room
penis is such an ugly word we should call them dingly-dangly-diddly-ding-dongs
Love it when a girl plays with my dingly-dangly-diddly-ding-dong.
I fucking choked on my tea
Next you’ll be choking on my dingly-dangly-diddly-ding-dong.
I just made the most inhuman noise
WHEN IT REALIZES THE PERSON IS STILL THERE AND GOES BACK TO BEING ‘DEAD’
if watermelon exists why doesn’t earthmelon, firemelon and airmelon??
Not even John McCain has time for their shit.
You’re doing snapchat the right way.
dead. literally, dead.
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best message i’ve ever gotten
the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed