So my brother’s friend is kind of a little fucking asshole
and he found out that the neighbor has a wIRELESS PRINTER AND PRINTED THIS DOCUMENT ON IT
AND OMFG I’M JUST SO DONE
(Source: tittyana-maslany, via hopeful-realist)
My friend just told me the story of when her dad went to a Halloween party dressed as Captain Jack from Pirates of the Caribbean and for some reason the police turned up and when they came upstairs he jumped up onto the window and shouted ‘THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU ALMOST CAUGHT CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!’ then he jumped out the window and broke both of his legs.
(Source: confidence----cohen, via pursuitofhapppinessss)
(Source: secretagentcarrot, via robert-crockett)
"I swear, this never happens to me!"
i don’t know which joke is funnier
Omfg I just laughed in the middle of a quite room.